Abject Suffering

Episode 49: Darkwing Duck

August 10th, 2014 | 29 mins 27 secs

Script Treatment: Duck Generations. EXT. -- DAY: Donald, Scrooge, Darkwing, and Jason Alexander waddle into a liquor store, shades perched precariously on their bill. Each squawks incomprehensibly, as if trying to out-fury each other.

Episode 48: Toys

August 4th, 2014 | 28 mins 34 secs

Hey Robin Williams: You cool, dawg? Can't quite settle on a single voice there. We're on to your "spaghetti against the wall" garbage. Black preacher? So played, and kind of racist. Nobody actually remembers when you were any good at anything.

Episode 47: Dudes With Attitude

July 28th, 2014 | 33 mins 2 secs

We were walking the perimeter of the Crick estate, shoring up the tree line and clearing brush. Michael kicked aside some beer cans, and chuckled quietly to himself. "What's so funny?" I asked, wiping my brow to keep the sweat bees at bay.

Episode 46: Master Chu and Drunkard Hu

July 21st, 2014 | 25 mins 54 secs

Mark another tally up on the "Canonical Worst Games" wall. Odds are good we're going to clear this pantheon out. One day a hard rain is gonna come, suffering style.

Episode 45: Toilet Kids

July 13th, 2014 | 27 mins 49 secs

Wherein we consistently miss the easiest target.

Episode 44: Legacy of the Wizard

July 6th, 2014 | 33 mins 1 sec

Legacy of the Wizard is a good game. Listen to us talking about making No. 3.

Episode 43: Godzilla

June 29th, 2014 | 25 mins 55 secs

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound he pulls the spitting high tension wires down. Helpless people on a subway train scream, bug-eyed as he looks in on them.

Episode 42: Shadowrun

June 22nd, 2014 | 28 mins 37 secs

Mediocrity is the most mortal sin of all. So we'll kindly excuse ourselves out the side door.

Episode 41: Cho Aniki

June 15th, 2014 | 30 mins 20 secs

This might be the third rail, but I'll bend over and take it. Spray your disapproval all over me if you must, but I believe, to the very last drop of my being, that we need more positivity in this world. If it has to come in the form of Cho Aniki, in its

Episode 40: Strider

June 8th, 2014 | 29 mins 38 secs

Like thieves in the night, we assassinate a game that is misguidedly referred to as a "classic" by some poor souls who don't know any better.

Episode 39: A Week of Garfield

June 1st, 2014 | 31 mins 38 secs

Being on a weekly format, we've had to cut some corners. Syndication is tough, so in order to keep our quality consistent (if mediocre), we've farmed the creation of these shows out to a network of corporate subsidiaries.

Episode 38: Felix the Cat

May 25th, 2014 | 26 mins 16 secs

Come with us to a time before sound, when dancing cats were no longer condemned as signs of witchcraft, even though they carried bags of tricks. To a time where Kole, unstuck in time, actually liked Felix the Cat at a young age.

Episode Archive