Abject Suffering

Episode Archive

Episode Archive

328 episodes of Abject Suffering since the first episode, which aired on January 9th, 2013.

  • Episode 40: Strider

    June 8th, 2014  |  29 mins 38 secs

    Like thieves in the night, we assassinate a game that is misguidedly referred to as a "classic" by some poor souls who don't know any better.

  • Episode 39: A Week of Garfield

    June 1st, 2014  |  31 mins 38 secs

    Being on a weekly format, we've had to cut some corners. Syndication is tough, so in order to keep our quality consistent (if mediocre), we've farmed the creation of these shows out to a network of corporate subsidiaries.

  • Episode 38: Felix the Cat

    May 25th, 2014  |  26 mins 16 secs

    Come with us to a time before sound, when dancing cats were no longer condemned as signs of witchcraft, even though they carried bags of tricks. To a time where Kole, unstuck in time, actually liked Felix the Cat at a young age.

  • Episode 37: Superman 64

    May 18th, 2014  |  31 mins 2 secs

    Faster than a frightened cockroach. More powerful than my aversion to the sun. Able to disappoint your parents in a single loan. It's Superman 64!

  • Episode 36: Horse Isle - The Secret Land of Horses

    May 11th, 2014  |  36 mins 35 secs

    Jenni from Video Games Taco joins us to answer the most pressing question of our time: "Is horses like cars but with meat?"

  • Episode 35: Samurai Ghost

    April 27th, 2014  |  35 mins 37 secs

    It’s strange but true, but customs that we attribute to a given locale often have shared roots. For example, did you know that seppuku and pumpkin carving come from the same, misguided place? Listen to the end to find out!

  • Episode 34: Harley's Humongous Adventure

    April 13th, 2014  |  30 mins 5 secs

    There are many ways in which a man can be small. Let's take stature as a given. There's also pettiness, deceit, closed-mindedness... All of these diminish us. What else diminishes us? Shrink rays of our own design.

  • Episode 33: Body Harvest

    March 30th, 2014  |  28 mins 34 secs

    In the long view, the Ninentdo 64 might be Abject Suffering, the system. In our initial estimate, the NES seemed like the most fertile and hateful ground... but the N64 is a remarkable moment in history where everyone's reach exceeded their grasp.

  • Episode 32: King of Dragons

    March 16th, 2014  |  38 mins 3 secs

    We're not proud, and we never said we weren't hypocrites. We also never promised to do things like "actually talk about the game we're supposed to talk about". That's your bad. You assumed that.

  • Episode 31: Episode 31: Ballz 3D

    March 2nd, 2014  |  35 mins 57 secs

    Squares. Circles. Tetrahedrons. The stately geodesic dome. Icosahedrons. Cubes. Hypercubes. Sentient cubes. BALLZ.

  • Episode 30: Cool World

    February 16th, 2014  |  39 mins 57 secs

    How does a person feel when they stare into the smoldering, waiting eyes of their creation? When it clambers for your attention... wanting love, wanting validation... wanthing to feel something, ANYTHING. That's how God feels about you ever day.

  • Episode 29: Yu-Gi-Oh!: Worldwide Edition: Stairway to the Destined Duel

    February 2nd, 2014  |  44 mins 37 secs

    Not everyone knows the creation myth for anime. One day in a peaceful village in Japan, a truck carrying a surplus of decimal places from the war overturned, spilling extra zeroes and permanently altering the population. What was once 20 was soon 20,000.

  • Episode 28: Stone Protectors

    January 19th, 2014  |  38 mins 25 secs

    What stones can't do is support an entire multimedia blitz with bad puns related to (ugh) rock and roll.

  • Episode 27: Scrapyard Dog

    January 5th, 2014  |  45 mins 11 secs

    In fact, the act of sharing a hot tub with a group of strangers is a form of communal Butthole Soup Making. So, think about that next time you're in a jacuzzi.

  • Episode 26: Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City

    December 22nd, 2013  |  35 mins 3 secs

    We might secretly like sports. Or, at least, Gary might. One imagines him as a closeted basketball hound, feverishly building brickets for his Springtime Fever league, going in on office pools to see which squadrons will tame the orange bounce.

  • Episode 25: Captain Planet and the Planeteers

    December 8th, 2013  |  35 mins 25 secs

    Captain Planet takes a cut of the proceeds, and buys them all 40's of Old English to share. He sleeps in an unadorned firetrap apartment and no longer fears death.