Kole Ross

613: Guardian War

June 9th, 2025  |  32 mins 52 secs

Covering Guardian War right after Paperboy 64 is a one-two punch of some of the most hideous games we’ve played. But looking past its shoddy veneer, Guardian War is kind of interesting, if insufficient. Of all of the 3DO games we’ve played, this is the one that’s most like an actual video game… being a kind of over-the-shoulder tactics RPG.

Gary also underwent a harrowing medical experience, so we had to talk about that too.

612: Paperboy 64

June 3rd, 2025  |  36 mins 11 secs

Would you believe that the Paperboy game for the N64 would be one of the ugliest things we’ve covered for this show? It seems like that would be hard to accomplish, given the competition, but this game’s spindly polygonal horrors are genuinely unnerving.

611: Gon' E-Choo!

May 26th, 2025  |  37 mins 29 secs

Make no mistake: This is a game created for a furry vore comic… but it’s such a mild example of what we can only assume is fetish material that all we’re left with is a pretty okay Popeye arcade game clone. So we talk about the many faces of Gordon Ramsey instead.

610: Sneak King

May 19th, 2025  |  43 mins 5 secs

People have been asking us to cover the Burger King games for as long as this show has existed. They fit the remit of Abject Suffering so perfectly! But emulation is difficult, and we wanted to make absolutely sure we could play these games perfectly, so we could avoid talking about them and instead dwell on how the Burger King corporation wasted a character with the amazing name “The Duke of Doubt”.

609: Ace of Seafood

May 12th, 2025  |  34 mins 32 secs

One of our least favorite game coverage schticks is pretending that a game’s concept is so wacky that you can’t understand it. You play as a mosquito who’s tormenting a family, and it’s a flight sim? Okay, cool, I get it. A domino wants to run little courses? Sure, why would I try to stop him? A studio’s whole deal is putting aquatic life in strange situations? This can totally fit in my brain and it would diminish us all to pretend that’s not the case.

608: Mercenary Force

May 5th, 2025  |  34 mins 5 secs

Listen, Mercenary Force isn’t a bad game at all. It’s actually quite interesting, if a bit too hard. A side scrolling shooter where you control four feudal Japanese warriors? It’s a good premise! Nobody knows what Gary was thinking when he brought this one.

607: James Cameron's Dark Angel

April 28th, 2025  |  36 mins 15 secs

Given how many super soldiers there are out there, you’d think there would be more social support for them. Groups, meetings, organizations. Shit, did I just reinvent the Venture Bros. from first principles? Come in and find out!

“Why is one of the hosts named differently? What happened!?” Kaye is transitioning! Find out more here.

606: Jurassic Park (SNES)

April 21st, 2025  |  42 mins 20 secs

This week a patron demand takes us into a discussion about a game that Gary likes quite a bit. The Jurassic Park SNES game is open world, mixed perspective, and overall a huge surprise, since Ocean doesn’t usually do work this interesting.

605: MegaRace

April 14th, 2025  |  44 mins 29 secs

It’s the future. You’re on a gameshow. You need to wipe out the speed gangs with vigilante car violence, murdering every last one of them… for real! But not really though. But really, it’s VR. But it’s LIKE death. But not death. We can’t emphasize enough how unlike and like real death this is.

604: Dennis Miller: That's News to Me

April 7th, 2025  |  36 mins 16 secs

Cybermania ‘94 reminded us that there’s a Dennis Miller game on the 3DO. And we figured we might as well take a deep dive into a guy who sucks, via talking about a very strange multimedia product from the nineties.

603: Tony Hawk's Underground 2

March 31st, 2025  |  40 mins 46 secs

We’ll be honest, this isn’t a bad game. A Tony Hawk game will generally have a high floor for quality, unless it’s Downhill Jam or something. No, this is here because you voted for it, and it’s also the most Bam Margera you’re going to get in a video game by volume. And though we love Jackass, there’s a lot to dislike about ol’ Bam Bam himself.

602: Popstar Guitar

March 24th, 2025  |  35 mins 41 secs

A sub-par Guitar Hero clone that doesn't list band names or anything. Just shitty, shitty covers of pop songs.